May rejects link between dead greenhouse plants and lack of water


Theresa May has rejected claims that the tomato plants in her greenhouse died because of cutbacks to their water supply.

Talking during a visit to Salisbury Mrs May said there was absolutely no evidence to support claims that the plants died because they had not been given essential supplies.

‘The fact that the plants died is not the important issue here. What is important is that I responded to the dead plants by putting them on the compost heap. I will be meeting with fellow greenhouse owners to establish why the tomato plants died and to see what we can do to prevent this happening in future.’

‘There is no simple answer as to why plants die if you don’t water them. It is more complex than that. Greenhouses have never fully recovered from Labour crashing the economy back in 2008….so if anybody is to blame, blame them.’

But Jeremy Corbyn argued that greenhouse deaths were at an all time high and austerity cuts were to blame. The Labour leader said extra funding should be made available to prevent any further deaths in the greenhouse community.

Mr. Corbyn added that young vegetables were particularly vulnerable to lack of watering and needed more help.

But Mrs. May hit back. ‘We have all had to tighten our belts….including greenhouse plants. We have all had to do more with less….including water. I don’t want to be lectured to about vegetables by someone who only came third in the Islington Allotment ‘biggest marrow’ competition.’

Greenhouse owners across the UK will be holding a two minute silence in honour of the dead tomato plants.  ‘It’s a tragedy…we are seeing more and more deaths in our greenhouses every day,’ said one greenhouse owner….’plants cut down in their prime. And it’s not just happening in the cities….it’s happening all over. All they ever wanted was some proper looking-after, some water now and again…it’s not too much to ask….’

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2019 by

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