Gone will be the much-maligned 4-hour maximum wait target, replaced by a new ‘survival of the fittest strategy’ designed ‘to build a better and stronger Britain’.
A government spokesman who’s considering defecting to UKIP or whatever ragbag collection of deluded nutters emerges once Theresa May’s Brexit deal is voted down in the Commons tomorrow said: ‘For too long we have pandered to the niceties of this weak idea of a so-called fair system where everyone just takes their turn. That’s nothing more than another example of namby-pamby Lefty political correctness gone wrong.’
‘It’s making our once great country look soft. That’s why these bloody foreigners are taking the piss with us over Brexit. Britain has always called the shots and so she shall once again.’
Details are sketchy but it’s understood that if you can mouth-off and force your way to the front of the queue upon arrival at A&E then you’ll be seen first. If you can’t then tough shit! You’ll be treated when the rush settles down a bit, and if you happen to die beforehand… well then that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Deal with it.