Having voted to ban umbrellas, MPs vote for it not to rain


Following their controversial decision to ban the carrying of umbrellas when outdoors, MPs have reassured the public that everything’s going to be fine because they’re also voting for it not to rain.

The vote was preceded by Prime Minister/High Priestess Theresa May making yet another urgent pilgrimage to the Temple of the Sky Gods, where she sacrificed her last stock of cattle, sheep and goats without getting in return so much as a sign that the Sky Gods even exist, which her office described as a ‘frank and productive exchange of views’.

Her visit was dismissed as a betrayal by the so-called ‘Precipitation Research Group’ of Tory backbenchers, who it’s claimed were seen spilling out of a Wetherspoons at closing time making obscene gestures at the sky, though other reports suggest this was just an unrelated group of Wetherspoons regulars.

STOP PRESS – Following 40 days and 40 nights of rain, Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be ‘edging closer’ to the idea of having discussions about possibly building an ark at some future date.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2019 by

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