Man pushing double-buggy on parkrun ‘racking up serious body-count’

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A Man who is pretty much always kitted-out in some form of running gear, revels in the opportunity to take out fellow ‘runners’ at his local Parkrun. 37-year-old Darryl Archer said: ‘just running 5k is pointless, unless its across glass or fire, in bare feet.’

‘Then I heard about Parkrun allowing buggies – I didn’t think much of it until my wife reminded me that I’ve got 3-year-old twins and a double buggy the size of a small Humvee. That perked my interest. By adding some bricks along with my kids, turns out it’s frickin’ awesome – Darwinism in action.’

‘I only cut down the deserving: chatty women treating running like an extension of a WhatsApp Group – the fatties, the asthmatics – the fattie asthmatics and of course the p**s-taking dog-walkers.’

‘I did feel a little guilty when a mowed down a kid I know from the local running club, but that’s what happens when you get distracted waving to the photographer to ensure a ‘cool’ Facebook photo – idiot.’

Daryl proudly asserted: ‘I reckon I must have racked up about thirty-eight justifiable hits of varying degrees of severity. Burn! And that’s not even including the severe emotional trauma I’ve inflicted on my own children.’

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2019 by

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