Police have confirmed today that a number of constituents from an outer London seat have contacted them to report their local Tory MP as a missing person. The constituents maintain that their MP was last seen on the evening of the 2017 General Election giving his victory speech but has not been seen in the constituency or at Parliament since.
A worried voter said we are particularly worried at the moment because with this Brexit business, just about every MP in the country has been on their feet asking questions, lobbying ministers etc,they are all there on TV every day but no sigh of our representative.
Inquiries have confirmed that the MP has been claiming his expenses and in fact has asked one question in the House which was: ‘Can I have my expenses paid in cash?’
A spokesman from the local Conservative Association defended the MP saying, local people have nothing to worry about, their MP has his finger on the pulse and is probably just keeping his powder dry and I am sure will have some pithy questions to ask in the Commons restaurant as he is a bit of a gourmet: ‘As a known and well respected Tory Yes man, we wouldn’t expect to see him making waves or getting too controversial. He is honoured to serve the people of his constituency and as a millionaire property speculator having, Member of Parliament on the letter head is jolly handy.’