‘It’s a very proud day, a milestone for racial equality’ said a spokesman for the Police Federation today. ‘And a vindication of the strategy of showing the world as it should be on TV, in the hope the real world will catch up a mere four decades later.’
‘Though obviously, it doesn’t apply equally everywhere. There are still what you might call ‘Midsomer Murders’ precincts where people are seen as a bit suspect if they’ve been abroad somewhere other than Spain.’
Unfortunately, he then announced that police stations all over the country would be celebrating this achievement by serving fried chicken with cornbread in the canteen, with watermelon to start. A spokesman for the Black Police Association intended to lodge a formal complaint about this insensitive blunder, but unfortunately never made it to the meeting because he was stopped and searched on the way, and later ‘fell out of a window’ back at the station.