Rumours are emanating from Downing Street that in response to the Speaker’s ruling on MV3, the Prime Minister plans to bring the vote back to Parliament this week in a radically different guise.
Tory Chief Whip, Julian Smith confirmed that from now on MV3 will be called Jennifer and, if required, an MV4 would be named Deirdre.
When questioned why the cabinet had taken this decision, the Chief Whip claimed that it was for branding purposes with both Jennifer and Deirdre conjuring images of lovely crossing patrol ladies, municipal librarians, or treasured comedians.
‘It was agreed that MV3 sounded a bit too much like the version of the Terminator that is able to turn into liquid metal’, said Smith. ‘So we thought if we called it Jennifer it could placate Bercow by being substantially different, whilst also appealing to the ERG members with fond memories of their school matrons and wet nurses.’