Fans of the long-running TV soap opera ‘Westenders’ have expressed mixed feelings after a plot spoiler emerged online over the weekend. It is now said to be common knowledge that the long-running character ‘Theresa May’ will make a dramatic exit in a taxi from ‘the Square’ opposite Parliament later this week, with ‘Boris Johnson’ waddling behind it, calling her a tart and a muppet, and baying ‘Remainer’ characters shouting ‘Nah, leave it, it ain’t werf it’.
‘About time 2 lol,’ said Westenders fan Tracy Simpson on Facebook. ‘That Theresa May character is SOOOO boring and the plots in the last month have been just completely ridiculous. It doesn’t matter how many times they end an episode with “The ayes to the right…” and the drumroll, we always know her stupid deal’s going to get rejected. Westenders used to have much more interesting plots, like when that Dave bloke got involved with some fat pig or other.’
May had been a background character in the show for many years, usually seen dancing self-consciously in kitten heels on disco night in the Queen Vic, but in 2016 producers decided to give her a starring role. The next year, fans were enchanted as she challenged disabled eccentric Jez Corbyn to ‘sort it aaaht ahhtside’ and shocked when he gave a better than expected account of himself in the ensuing punch-up down a back alley.
‘Maybe they’ve exhausted all the possible plots for Theresa, but personally I’ll miss her when she’s gone ‘up East’ to a series of non-executive director roles in the City,’ said Eleanor Hindmarch from Surrey, who admits that Westenders is her guilty pleasure. ‘Look at all those hilarious catchphrases she coined: ‘Strong and stable’, ‘Coalition of chaos’, ‘Brexit means Brexit’, I’m crying with laughter even as I say it. No, there’ll never be another one quite like her.’
Westenders producer Lorraine Hennessy said: ‘We don’t comment on spoilers, so if you really want to know what happens with Theresa this week, you’ll have to tune in and watch. I can say, though, that there will be plenty of exciting new plot twists, like when Michael stabs Boris in the back and – oh hang on, we did that one already, didn’t we? What we won’t do is bring any characters back after they’ve been killed off. Leave means leave, after all, unless it doesn’t.’
Hat tip Titus