By common consent, it’s been decided that this year there will be no spoof news items in newspapers on April 1st, as the actual news has become so absurd as to render them unnecessary.
“We live in an era in which MP’s can vote against not leaving the EU, vote against leaving without a deal, but also vote against the deal,” said a spokesman for the Press Association today. “What they’re calling for is literally impossible.”
“And all this because the Prime Minister keeps putting the same bill before Parliament time and time again, as if the result will somehow magically be different next time.”
“As a result, we get leaders of the Leave campaign scrambling to get EU passports for themselves and their families, while the rest of us will have blue passports made in France. And best of all, it means Brexit gets moved to April 12th, the day the Titanic sank.”
“In this situation, who cares about some nonsense about spaghetti growing on trees?”