A man who’d hired a construction company to make his house bigger “in whatever the fuck way you want, I don’t care” has complained that the extension they built him wasn’t what he’d asked for.
We gave him the plans and he just signed them all without looking at them. We tried to get him to engage and it was all “I don’t want to hear about your stupid fucking plans, just get it the fuck done”, said the foreman. “If we told him that he might not get what he wants if he wasn’t specific, he’d threaten us with a rolled up Daily Mail and scream “sedition” or “traitors”, and threaten to block our peerages” said the foreman.
We looked at other methods, but the experts told us a risk of subsidence made a cellar impossible and we couldn’t get planning for an extra level, so an extension made sense and was among the options he’d said “yes” to,” said a bricklayer, adding “Except he actually said “yeah, whatever, I don’t want to hear about your fucking experts now get it done or you’re a bunch of treasonous quislings”…and he didn’t say it, he screamed it at our faces.
Anyway he’s now saying he didn’t agree to an extension and when we showed him his signature on the plans he closed his eyes, stuck his fingers in his ears and ran around screaming at us that we’re refusing to do what he told us to do.
“Could be worse”, he mused, “at least we weren’t landed with building part of a fence for Mr Trump and having to pretend it’s a complete wall, so every cloud, eh!