Sultan of Brunei suggests people get stoned after gay sex or adultery.

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‘It’s not so much a Camberwell Carrot moment as a Brunei Bong one’ said Jake Smithers, spokesperson for the Sultan of Brunei. ‘Whatever we call it, we should definitely call my boss the Sultan of Swingers, because he says adultery should be followed by getting stoned, which for a devout older gentleman from South East Asia is pretty cool. He also thinks skinning up and getting stoned after gay sex is a great idea, too.

It’s not clear why the Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu’izzaddin Waddaulah ibni Al-Marhum, or ‘Sulty’ as he likes to be called by his hareem of hash-happy hookahs, didn’t include married couples in his call for getting baked after a bonk. ‘He’s too cool to talk about ‘vanilla’ love,’ explained Smithers. ‘You gotta think swingers’ parties in high class hotel rooms, not people in pyjamas in Penge’

But the the richest man in the world (don’t ever make sultana jokes to his wife, by the way, especially if offered Brunei’s ‘special’ fruitcake) faces opposition from the most handsome man in the world. Mr George C Looney, who made his fortune advertising coffee podcasts says he opposes the consumption of illegal drugs and suggests everyone should boycott the pretty Dorset market town of Dorchester, where the Sult has a holiday cottage and a big greenhouse.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2019 by

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