In a bold move designed to tackle the growing problem of Parliament not doing what the government wants, it was announced today that from now on MPs trying to enter the “No” lobby during a division on Brexit will be subject to Stop and Search.
“We’re worried they may be in possession of certain dangerous items,” explained Westminster’s Serjeant at Arms. “Principles, a backbone, a conscience – that sort of thing.”
However one MP, going by the street name BoJo, insisted he was being unfairly targeted.
“If you look at my record, you’ll see I’ve never once been caught in possession of principles. It’s obvious I’m only voting No to bring down Theresa May so I can have her job.”