A boy is concerned his father has completely lost it having discovered some plastic toy cars that go around a figure of eight track until someone dies or climate change eventually destroys the earth.
11-year-old Jake Preston said, “he said he had something to show me that would blow my mind. I assume he’d bought a camera drone or upgraded my Xbox access pass.”
“But no – he produced some kind of non-biodegradable plastic sh*t. He said he and his ‘mates’ – he’s such a d*ck – would spend entire weekends and holidays playing on it. I assume half of that time was untangling wires. Erm, bluetooth, anyone?”
“I humoured him by playing a few times. Christ, the last time I saw him this happy was in a load of drunken video clips of him before I was even born.”
“I obviously remained joylessly tight-lipped throughout. I didn’t want to let on that it was actually pretty cool – particularly, the occasional electric shock.”
“Now he’s just found a ‘Sega MegaDrive,’ or some sh*t. He says it was his games console. Jesus.”
“Move on. The nostalgia ship has sailed. Go watch football and put some half-time bets on, there’s a good lad.”