Boy unable to comprehend dad’s glee at finding his old Scalextric

Screenshot 2019-04-08 at 13.22.22

A boy is concerned his father has completely lost it having discovered some plastic toy cars that go around a figure of eight track until someone dies or climate change eventually destroys the earth.

11-year-old Jake Preston said, “he said he had something to show me that would blow my mind. I assume he’d bought a camera drone or upgraded my Xbox access pass.”

“But no – he produced some kind of non-biodegradable plastic sh*t. He said he and his ‘mates’ – he’s such a d*ck – would spend entire weekends and holidays playing on it. I assume half of that time was untangling wires. Erm, bluetooth, anyone?”

“I humoured him by playing a few times. Christ, the last time I saw him this happy was in a load of drunken video clips of him before I was even born.”

“I obviously remained joylessly tight-lipped throughout. I didn’t want to let on that it was actually pretty cool – particularly, the occasional electric shock.”

“Now he’s just found a ‘Sega MegaDrive,’ or some sh*t. He says it was his games console. Jesus.”

“Move on. The nostalgia ship has sailed. Go watch football and put some half-time bets on, there’s a good lad.”

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2019 by

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