Assange finally shown the door for ‘never buying milk’

Screenshot 2019-04-11 at 11.44.46

Following Julian Assange’s sudden exit from the Ecuadorian Embassy earlier today, the next political refugee to take over his accommodation has slammed the Wikileaks co-founder for leaving the place “in a right fooking state”.

There’s crap everywhere,’ complained one of the new occupants, the husband of a couple from the Middle East fleeing oppression and certain death if they go to their homeland. ‘During his time here he’s carried out what he’s laughingly calling alterations to his quarters and I don’t reckon he followed any building regs at all. One wall is so bloody wonky it’s a health hazzard. My Mrs is going spare, particularly with his choice of wallpaper.’

The Ecuadorian Ambassador explained the reason for Mr Assange’s quick exit. ‘He’d become a bloody nuisance to be honest. He was never happy, continually moaning all the time and less than timely paying the rent, I might add. He never washed his cup up or bought milk. But the final straw came when he wouldn’t stop playing Olly Murs CDs at all hours of the day at full volume. He just had to go!’

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2019 by

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