Tiger Woods owes it all to me, says Trump

AUGUSTA, GEORGIA - APRIL 14: Tiger Woods of the United States celebrates with the Masters Trophy during the Green Jacket Ceremony after winning the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club on April 14, 2019 in Augusta, Georgia. (Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images)

President Trump has claimed that he is responsible for Tiger Woods winning his first golfing Major since 2008 and wants Woods to gift him the green jacket presented at the tournament’s conclusion. ‘Tiger’s back but only thanks to my golfing brilliance. It’s no secret that I’m his hero and that he modelled himself on me in his private life, you know, playing the field and getting to make out with all those really hot babes,’ Trump told Fox News.

‘But his form on the course suffered because of it. So last week I invited him to one of my golf resorts, which by the way, have some of the world’s very best courses. Yes they have. You know it! The greatest. So good. And speaking as the greatest golfer who’s ever played the game – did I mention I’ve won 20 Majors which is two more than Jack Nicklaus has? – I gave Tiger a few tips on where he was going wrong, the results of which were clearly there for the world to see today. That jacket is mine by rights.’

Woods said: ‘He’s not getting my green jacket, but now I’m back on the A-list I can probably get him some hot babes.’


hat-tip to farmer giles

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2019 by

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