Brexit delay ‘due to porn negotiations’

Hard-Brexxxit

A crack team of British trade negotiators has admitted that the reason why so few post-Brexit trade deals have been completed is that the team has been swamped by negotiations with international adult content providers. As a result of these secret negotiations, thousands of adult providers have agreed to implement UK-specified age-verification controls and to be subject to UK laws. The secret deals were almost scuppered when Boris Johnson inadvertently leaked that the team were working with the ‘fuck business’, but the mistake was quickly glossed over.

‘Actually, it was the easiest deal in human history, because we held all the cards and we could choose the path we wanted,’ said one of the negotiators. ‘The international porn industry is totally dependent on British subscribers. Once they enter the workplace, the British are among the biggest wankers in the world. So they need us more than we need them.’

Peaty Haven

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2019 by

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