Fury as Highways England advises Easter motorists ‘Just fucking stay at home’

Slow moving southbound holiday traffic on the M5 motorway, north of Bristol. Thousands of holidaymakers were today flocking to the seaside and heading into the countryside on what could be the hottest weekend of the summer so far.  28/08/04:  A month-long experiment to cut motorway jams by making drivers of towed vehicles such as caravans and trailers ends.

Highways England has been criticised for the guidelines it has offered to older travellers heading to the coast for Easter. It read: ‘For fuck sake get a grip! What’s the point adding to interminable bumper-to-bumper traffic jams when you can choose any other weekend you fancy to go to Eastbourne or whatever places coffin dodgers flock to? You’re just buggering it up for everyone else, you selfish old bastards’.

However, 75 year-old Roger Whiston has vowed to tow his caravan behind his Morris Oxford from Redditch to Bournemouth, just like every Easter. ‘Whenever I drive to the coast, I see people in the cars behind mouthing messages of support,’ he said. ‘And although I may not be up to speed with this modern high-five malarkey, I’m still pretty certain that quickly flicking your wrist up and down while looking as if you’re holding some sort of tube must be a friendly gesture.’

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2019 by

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