Seventy-six pubs ‘shutting per month’ to avoid Nigel Farage


The ex-UKIP leader is threatening to campaign throughout the country, which by ‘country’, he means a photo opportunity with every purveyor of craft ale he can find. Sadly this has meant that nearly 1,000 UK pubs shut last year, in an attempt to stop chance encounters with Brexit Party candidates.

The fear is that voters will once again be exposed to his bloke-ish charm and persona of an unrepentant alcoholic; alongside images of him gurning with a pedal-bin mouth, while holding a warm pint aloft.  The Campaign for Real Ale (Camra) said more people were drinking at home, petrified that Mr. Farage might engage them in ‘earthy banter’ about football, pasties or why all Muslim’s ‘should all be put in camps’.

Literally sending himself to Coventry to launch his new Brexit Party, Mr. Farage challenged publicans to invest in traditional British values – like the nut’s calendar, with the topless girl or dimpled beer glasses.  A CAMRA spokeswoman said: ‘Losing a pub is a small price to pay for avoiding Nigel.  We also advise voters to avoid shops that sell tan-coloured coats and any restaurant that have arsehole on the menu’.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2019 by

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