Mathematicians have calculated that there is a 95% probability that the UK’s political landscape will become dominated by the cast of ‘The Midwich Cuckoos’. Two-thirds of all MPs will be a blood relative of Boris Johnson, with the remaining third just being Boris in a series of assorted clown outfits.
Synonymous for their unruly hair, unruly ethics and unruly birth control, the Johnsons are to politics what Johnson & Johnson are to ovarian cancer. Siblings, Rachel and Jo, are already tipped to lead the Change UK Party and the Conservative Party respectively; leaving Boris in charge of ‘Noel’s House Party’.
Lesser known cousins Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Earvin ‘Magic’ Johnson are all set to join Boris ‘$hit for brains’ Johnson. While Boris’ own unprotected Johnson’ will be given free-reign to propagate ‘willy nilly’ – or as he calls it, ‘Blind Willie Johnson’.