Vicky Pollard appointed chief Brexit negotiator

Vicky pollard

Vicky Pollard, the perpetually pink-clad teenage chav with six babies by seven fathers, has been appointed Britain’s chief Brexit negotiator.

After some reluctance to take the job as it might jeopardise her benefits, as well as presenting the need to find childcare for those of her kids she hasn’t yet swapped for a Westlife CD, she agreed to take her approach of answering every question “Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no…” to Brussels.

Brussels’ own negotiator described her appointment as a great improvement, saying at last the British had sent someone who knows what they want. Vicky seemed momentarily surprised by the compliment, before adding “But don’t listen to ‘im right ‘cos everyone knows ‘e dun it wiv a alsatian.”

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Posted: May 8th, 2019 by

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