As Britain passes one week without any coal, worried snowmen have claimed that there is a direct link between a lack of coal and blindness.
‘There is no doubt in my mind.’ claimed Mr Frosty, a snowman from Doncaster. ‘A lack of coal has been a disaster for the snow community. For many years we’ve struggled because we lack ears and legs. There’s also compelling evidence that we only have genitals if a teenage boy is involved in our construction.’
The loss of eyesight has hit Mr Frosty particularly hard as he has recently discovered he’s allergic to carrots.