A tub of baked beans at KFC has said it is ashamed of its performance as a side dish and will endeavour to do better in future.
‘Speaking out for the first time, the bright orange beans admitted to bouts of self loathing when it compared itself to the juicy corn on the cob and the deliciously thick and surprisingly sweet gravy also on offer as sides from Colonel Sanders.
‘Im on all the pictures next to some chicken and fries but it’s fooling no-one’ sniffed the full tub of beans, after 4 hours sat on the warm plate at the kings Cross KFC. ‘The last person to actually opt for me with the boneless banquet was some old grandad back in 1986.’
‘If any fast food item feels as shit and unwanted as me, I would like to hear their story’, said the beans in an emotional statement.
A McDonald’s Filet o’Fish has asked the beans to hold its beer.