Over-50s life insurance ‘just a front for Dignitas’


The National Crime Agency is investigating an alleged scam involving older people taking out over-50s life insurance shortly before flying one-way to Switzerland, armed with nothing but a small carriage clock.

An agency spokesperson said, “as part of our investigation, we’ve being reviewing distressing footage of various TV adverts. They show inexplicably attractive old couples with shit-eating grins, sitting around conservatories purchasing what they believe is ‘life insurance’ from someone in a bubble wearing a head-set, was just like Orwell imagined.

“The advert ends as the couple walk off hand-in-hand towards the horizon of sunlit uplands – or, death, as we now suspect.

“There is a clear M.O. ‘Friendly’ company representatives distract unsuspecting ‘customers’ with free EasyJet flights to Geneva, as they literally sign their lives away.

“They don’t spot that the tickets are one-way and on the odd occasion they do query it, the rep just presents them with some more freebies, like a carriage clock or vouchers for a walk-in bath. That normally throws them off the scent.”

One victim, Barry from Wigan who spotted the scam said, “as soon as he offered flights, I thought, this is all wrong. Err, Geneva? Nice try, dickhead.”

“Signed the the wife up, obviously.”

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Posted: May 14th, 2019 by

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