The Earth has announced plans to appoint a new advertising agency, following the failure of the current agency – Assorted Greens – to hit any of their targets in the past 50 years.
“We’re looking for an agency to make the Earth sexy”, said a spokesplanet. “We’ve been following a ‘guilt trip’ approach for several years and it just hasn’t worked. If anything, the problems are getting worse.
“We’ve enjoyed working with Assorted, really we have. We like their ethical stance – they employ lots of staff with personality disorders and they’re not afraid to put them in front of house positions. To be honest, we’d feel more comfortable if they washed occasionally but you have to admire their commitment to casting non-glamorous people”.
It is hoped that the new agency can improve Earth’s profile fairly rapidly – preferably before the extinction of all life in the year 2055 or the resolution of Brexit, scheduled for much later.