Boris Johnson confirms his hand puppet will run for Tory Leadership

Boris Johnson, the prominent Brexit campaigner and professional bumbling toff has confirmed at a press conference today that his glove Puppet Bojo will participate in the Tory Leadership elections with a view to becoming Prime Minister.

The Puppet, which bears a strikingly similar resemblance to Johnson with a mop of blonde hair, podgy frame and dressed in a suit one size too small will perch on his knee and deliver its manifesto to the rest of the Conservative Party by whispering into Boris’s ear.

This manifesto, we’ve been advised will firstly focus on how it will successfully take the country out of the EU and honour the referendum without any detriment or negative impact to the economy. In addition to this simple task, once Brexit is completed Bojo will lay out its vision for a United Kingdom where every man, woman and child has an offshore bank account and tickets to the Oxbridge boat race every year.

Boris has enlisted the help of Matthew Corbett, the former puppeter of TV favourites Sooty and Sweep. This will help to provide a convincing display to the public when the puppet participates in disastrous P.R stunts that will help endear Bojo to the population whilst also forgiving it for any offensive and factually incorrect statements.

Although Bojo the puppet’s voice and views on Brexit are remarkably close to Johnson’s own he was keen to point out that they are solely its own opinion and he is in no way accountable whatsoever. In his own words “If the worst should happen and Bojo fails to complete Brexit successfully I would like to reassure every single one of you that I will be there to tell you how I could have done it much better, given the opportunity”

Glardy

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Posted: May 20th, 2019 by

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