Following on from Theresa May’s “new and improved” Brexit deal number 10 have confirmed that should this “bold offer” fail, a series of alternative fonts will be exploited to try to secure the necessary parliamentary agreement.
“We’ve fallen into the trap of re-presenting the deal in the same, tired, Times New Roman and MPs are, well, just bored”, said a spokesman. An at times “feisty” cabinet meeting apparently discussed a number of options. Italic was ruled out at an early stage and whilst there was significant support amongst the ERG group for Old English Text this too was rejected.
Early indications are that this freshening up may garner some support it is unlikely to be enough to see the deal through. In this case Mrs May will “scour all fonts” with the hope of beating parliament into submission before 31st October.
Liberal Democrat leader Vince Cable stated that some of his MPs might support a freshly presented deal but “only if it’s written in the original French” whilst the DUP are apparently holding out for Wingdings.