National Milkshake Association sends ‘thoughts and prayers’ to Farage

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The National Milkshake Association (NMA) has tonight sent its ‘thoughts and prayers’ to the Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage after today’s banana and salted caramel incident. However a spokesman for the NMA was unforgiving in his condemnation of Farage for failing to carry his own Milkshake as a form of deterrent.
‘The NMA has commissioned much research over the last year, proving beyond doubt that those who have a Milkshake with them are 70% less likely to be drenched by another person’s Milkshake, whether that person is a black person from a terrorist organisation or a white lone wolf with mental health problems. It was remiss of Mr Farage not to be in possession of at the very least a strawberry milkshake, and therefore should not be surprised by today’s events’.

Stated a NMA spokesperson earlier: ‘We would advise Mr Farage, and indeed all political leaders, to carry a Milkshake at all times, and frankly include such advice in their party manifesto for all citizens to have access to Milkshakes during the current political climate’.
Mr Farage has yet to respond to the NMA, but a Brexit Party statement issued a short while ago sought to scotch the idea of having a manifesto, but welcomed the prospect of talks with the NMA to pursue its ideas in principle and to seek NMA endorsement and funding.

John Roughty

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Posted: May 21st, 2019 by

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