Man dubbed ‘Heston Blumenthal’ for having lunch somewhere other than Greggs


A plumber was branded a class-traitor after buying lunch from an Italian deli.   ‘There’s a nice looking deli a couple of doors down from Greggs that I thought I’d give a try’ says 24-year old Alan Brooks. ‘They do a lovely salami, emmenthal and mozzarella Panini. When the lads saw it they looked at me like I’d just asked them if I could stick my hands down their trousers to keep them warm.  One of them called me Heston Blumenthal and the rest joined in, even though I’m pretty sure most of them have no idea who or what Heston Blumenthal is’.

Co-worker John MacPherson has defended the name-calling.  ‘When you work on a large site like this you do the Hi-Viz Greggs walk at least 2 or 3 times a day in a big group.  If you fail to comply then we reserve the right to rip the utter pish out of you until you conform and start eating cheese and onion pasties and artery-hardening Belgian buns again.  It’s just the way it is. I don’t make the rules’.

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Posted: May 21st, 2019 by

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