Tigers confirm plans to continue coming round for tea

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Anthropomorphic tigers everywhere have confirmed today that they will continue to make impromptu visits at 5pm to houses around the country, in search of a good square meal, following the sad death of their creator Judith Kerr.

‘Yep, I can confirm that we’re all still really hungry, and so we’ll definitely be ringing your doorbells’, said one unnamed tiger today, fully 8 foot tall when sat at a simple yellow table with his tail coiled round underneath his chair. ‘If you could get a big plate of sandwiches in, some buns, and loads of milk and tea’, that would be great’.

‘Oh, and do make sure you’ve got some of daddy’s beer in too, cold as you like’, added the tiger.

‘You can go to one of those cafes down the road in the dark and get some sausage and chips later when your dad gets back, probably some ice cream too’, noted the tiger, after drinking all the water in the tap. ‘Spend some quality time together as a family, enjoying the eerie looking late evening atmosphere on the high street. Iā€™m actually doing you a favour by eating you out of house and home. ‘

The news comes will be a relief to children called Sophie, as well as generations of kids and parents. However, it will be tinged with a feeling of melancholy and sadness that you can never quite put your finger on when you realise the tiger only visits once and never comes to visit again.

 

Hattip nickb

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Posted: May 23rd, 2019 by

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