The Bride of Brexit, Quentin Tarantino’s long-awaited take on the horror of the UK’s Brexit process has received the green light from Hollywood backers.
With Uma Thurman slated to take the lead, the story will be a terrifying account of Theresa May’s revenge on the deadly assassination squad that brought about her downfall.
Thurman’s character, ‘Theresa’ aka the ‘Bride of Brexit’, is dead set on killing everyone who left her to die in a crumbling political vacuum. With plenty of blood and gore and a high body count the movie looks set to be a blueprint for a new genre of polito-schlock-horror.
‘Yes, this is my blood-fest movie; yes, this is my badass elderly chick movie; yes, this is my gothic horror and my super hero movie all rolled into one,” said Mr Tarantino. “But it’s also my David Lean movie, and if you want wistful close ups, a bit of dancing and the indecision of a woman living in a viper’s nest against a back drop of European turmoil then you’ve got it!’
Already merchandisers are working on prototype toys for the Bride of Brexit. This will include a fully robotic action figure whose kitten heeled shoes will transform into scud missiles, and a string pull voice box with some of the most nauseating sound bites guaranteed to send a shiver down the spine of even the most hardened horror aficionados.
The Bride of Brexit is scheduled for release as soon as producers can come to a decision.