Following Theresa May’s resignation, Tory Party members who represent just 0.27% of the overall electorate, will now select Britain’s new Prime Minister.
With an average age of fifty-seven, but with 40% of them over sixty-five, 97% White well-off middle-class, 66% backing a no-deal Brexit and 60% percent supporting the death penalty, Tory Grandees are sure the party’s membership will make the right choice for a modern multi-cultural tolerant Britain.
Jacob Rees-Mogg speaking to reporters said: ‘Do I think that such a rarefied and terrifyingly out-of-touch group of people will make the the correct choice, one that will be best for the greater good of all of Britain’s society? Yes of course I do, totally and unequivocally.’
And despite continually insisting to anyone who can still bear to listen to him without vomiting on the spot, that the result of the 2016 referendum must be be honoured because it was ‘the will of the people’ and ‘democracy in action’, bumptious windbag Marc Francois said: ‘Of course it’s entirely fair that less than one quarter of one percent of the nation’s electorate should be able to chose the next PM. That’s democracy! The democracy I fought to preserve whilst serving my country in the TA one weekend when I camped out in a tent.’
‘And you know that was tough. Before the big push I’d shone up my boots so brightly that in the end you could see your face in them, and when we captured the village hall from the vicar and choirboys posing as a subversive terrorist cell, I came in my underpants right there and then. Oh happy days.’