Godzilla sequel “nothing but noisy special effects”, say astonished critics

Screenshot 2019-05-29 at 10.51.44

Film critics assessing “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” have announced their drop-jawed astonishment at discovering the film is nothing but a lot of noisy special effects without much plot or character development.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Aubrey de la Manche of the magazine Postmodern Perspectives on Film. “Everything about the pre-publicity had led me to expect a wistful meditation on the melancholy of the human condition and our inability to truly connect with one another, something like Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya, Ibsen’s Ghosts or the early works of Truffaut or Godard.”

“Instead I find it’s all about a big radioactive lizard that shoots fire from its mouth while fighting other unnaturally big animals. I mean, really. I stumbled out of Hampstead Everyman in a daze, my turmeric and pumpkin spice latte untouched.”

De la Manche announced that his faith in the Hollywood film industry to produce truly great and meaningful art had been severely shaken, though fortunately he expects it to be restored when he sees “The Fast and the Furious 17″ tomorrow.

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Posted: May 29th, 2019 by

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