Pippa Forbury, an architectural technician from leafy Holmes Chapel in Cheshire, has been ostracised by her friends after making what in hindsight appears to have been a very poorly-calculated fashion faux pas.
‘I wanted a pair of ripped designer jeans just like all the girls in our set have but I didn’t want to pay £700 for them,’ sobbed Forbury. ‘So I bought a pair of Gucci’s regular unripped ones for £350 and then took the scissors to them myself when I got home. I thought rather foolishly that nobody would know the difference but sadly I was so, so, soooo wrong. When we met at Jodhpurs Nightclub the following Friday everyone saw straight through my DIY tailoring immediately and they have all cut me dead since. I’m an outcast.’
Monica Howard, one of Pippa’s erstwhile friends, commented: ‘It was pathetic and how she thought she could get away with it yet still remain in our crowd beggars belief. Some of the rips weren’t even in the right place. Everyone knows the left upper leg should be largely bare and the right one covered. We will accept only 100% authentically pre-ripped designer jeans. At the end of the day it’s all about the money, really.’
‘You see darling, because we’re all so wealthy we really don’t need to consider the price of anything. So what if we’re getting robbed blind just for the convenience of having someone in a sweat shop in India ripping our jeans for us? Just ask any of the girls. That extra £350 is money so well spent. I’m afraid Pippa just had to go.’