Following shady businessman and reality TV performer Donald Trump’s departure from Britain, during which time for some inexplicable reason he was constantly fawned over and grovelled to, in one of the last acts before stepping down as PM, Theresa May has ordered the country’s Moron Threat to be lowered to ‘moderate’ as the immediate danger is believed to have passed.
Sheridan Bowler, Professor of Moronic Studies, at The University of Warwick said, ‘Obviously with Trump in the country our Moron Threat has been on ‘severe’ since Monday, and in the event it proved to be a very wise precaution too. The man’s a loose cannon and you can never be sure just how much of a twenty-four carat idiot he will be.’
‘For example look at his clueless babbling on plans for America to start running the NHS post-Brexit. That was a close thing and special forces were on standby to take him out. Luckily he backtracked next day but it could’ve been a really catastrophically moronic situation,’ said Bowler. ‘Thankfully now he’s gone we have been able to revert to our default Moron Threat of moderate, and need only concern ourselves with Boris Johnson and Mark Francois, which of course we can handle pretty easily. After all in recent years we have learnt to do this day in, day out.’
Mrs May commented: ‘As I leave office I can at least now go with my head held high safe in the knowledge, that although during my time as PM I was utterly bloody useless, nevertheless I finally manged to achieve something in the end. I aced this one! Hell yeah!’