‘Trainspotting 3: The Young Conservatives’ announced

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The film tells the story of Govie, a young smackhead living in squalid destitution in a safe Tory seat in the home counties.

Also living in the squat is Bozza, a buffoon with a mop of blonde hair who changes the subject whenever anyone asks about the father of the baby occasionally seen crawling through the debris. The trio is completed by Ruth Davidson, who as the only Conservative in Scotland was pretty much guaranteed inclusion.

The film follows the exploits of the three as they pass laws against working class drug users while trying to score their next fix, avoiding the attentions of thuggish Speaker of the House Bercbie.

The climax of the film comes when Govie is arrested for shoplifting to feed his habit, only for the judge to say: ‘Oh I do apologise, I thought you were an oik for a moment. Terribly sorry for inconveniencing you. Do give my regards to your father, we were at Harrow together you know…’

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2019 by

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