Boris: ‘I once did something selfless but I’m not proud of it’

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Front-runner in the Tory Party leadership race Boris Johnson, allegedly faced with an upcoming exposé in the media, has been forced to admit that with total disregard for any personal gain whatsoever he once did the decent thing.

But in a slick damage limitation operation he has moved quickly seeking to assure fellow Tory MPs, in a series of TV interviews, that the episode happened when he was a young and naive MP and that he has since put it behind him.

Speaking on Sky’s Sophie Ridge programme Mr. Johnson said: ‘Yes it is true, on one occasion there was a chap who was in difficulty and rather down on his luck who came to my surgery looking for my assistance.’

‘I am now deeply ashamed to admit that very foolishly I actually pulled out all the stops and was able to assist him in a way that was very helpful to his cause, yet it advanced my own position not a jot. Nothing in it for me whatsoever.’

‘However let me assure all my colleagues in the Parliamentary party that this was a moment of very poor judgment and utter stupidity on my part. This fellow caught me on a rare occasion when my guard was down. I have never made such a mistake since and I never will again. A lesson learnt or lectio magistralis as my Latin Professor might have put it.’

‘But I can promise that absolutely everything I do now is driven only by the desire to boost my own public profile, cynically calculated to further my own ruthless blind ambition no matter what the cost to others might be in collateral damage. Hurrah!’

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2019 by

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