Said the President: ‘I’d personally like to congratulate our women-folk and shake them by the pussy, for winning that there World Cup Series Bowl. I’m sure they were inspired by Cavernpool beating Londonland Bonespurs in the EU Grandslam. Cavernpool? That’s where those four mopheads used to play till they were radicalised by philosophies from the East? Jeez, that Maharishi Yogi Bear guy sure got a lot to answer to folks, he really has’.
‘I think that Thailand team could have done with the Great Pat Jennings in goal, she was a great keeper back in the day, round about when Nam was all kicking off and I was becoming a Canadian citizen’. Yet Trump insisted he would have stopped at nothing to score more, even using the ‘Hand of God’ – but a much smaller one.