Brexiteer with rotten tooth denies wanting ‘no-anesthetic’ extraction


‘I am fed up with idiots suggesting that I would prefer not to have any anaesthetic,’ said Jake O’bree-Smug, a long-suffering dental patient who is desperate for freedom from further pain. ‘Obviously I would prefer the extraction to be as painless as possible.’

‘But if an insistence on pain-deadening treatment is likely to lead to a delay of unknown and indeterminate duration, or to mere partial extraction, or possibly even to no extraction at all, then I am willing to tolerate a short, sharp degree of discomfort in order to be free from this ongoing agony.’

‘In fact, I suspect the actual extraction process will be far less painful than the continuing uncertainty and delay while I wait for the treatment. I just hope that, while I am waiting, some bunch of idiots don’t try to make such a swift, straightforward extraction illegal.’

‘But can I be clear on this, I don’t want Boris Johnson as my dentist – I’m liable to loose an appendix!’

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2019 by

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