A document found in a briefcase discovered on a train has left the fledgling Brexit Party looking red-faced as it appears to be a record of the minutes of a meeting chaired by Nigel Farage, at which the party’s inner circle discussed its manifesto for any coming general election.
Carriage Cleaner Neil Finlay discovered the document. He said: ‘It was just three pages clipped together. The front page said Brexit Party Manifesto – General Election 2019. It was written in crayon and Brexit, party and manifesto were all misspelled.’
‘Next page said “Fiscal Strategy” but that was blank except for the title. The third page, headed “Education and NHS” had a doodle of a woman with large breasts and a completed game of hangman. The man had been hanged with the letters J E R E – Y – O R – Y N filled in… but then several question marks and an exclamation mark beside them.
However party leader Nigel Farage was quick to deny the story ‘This is a smear by media and the establishment trying to discredit us. We’re brimming with policy ideas. Look I can even show you the actual draft document we’ve been working on. It’s right… now where’s that confounded briefcase got to?’