A group of people who thought they were about to see a software demonstration have described their ‘overwhelming joy’ at seeing the PowerPoint logo appear on the screen.
‘We’ve spent the last two weeks evaluating software systems’, said one of the audience members. ‘It’s hard to stay awake at the best of times, so you can imagine my almost orgasmic pleasure when I saw some sad sack in a suit twatting on about the company ethos’.
‘I get some good daydreaming done’, said another delegate. ‘It’s like that moment between sleep and being awake, a kind of no-man’s land where you can think random thoughts. I just wish they wouldn’t answer every question with “the Cloud”. Apparently, the Cloud, whatever the fuck that is, will answer all of our IT prayers in some unspecified manner. Also, I’ve seen these slides before, but with a different logo on’.
Sales manager Mark Raeburn was pleased with the audience response to his latest PowerPoint presentation. ‘Yeah, amazing, really. They loved me. The actual demo had to be shoehorned into about ten minutes, that’s how much everybody loved the PowerPoint. The software isn’t really finished, so it’s for the best. I generally keep going until the audience starts self-harming.’
‘I’ve used these slides for years now, in different companies – I think it’s absolutely vital to tell people what sets us apart from the rest, you know? And it doesn’t take two minutes to swap the logo. I’m contemplating transferring all my foreplay to PowerPoint, to bring a little consistency and to ensure the key messages don’t get missed in the excitement of the moment.’