‘Give us back our identities’ say Britain’s fatties

Fatties

A row has broken out between Britain’s main news and current affairs broadcasters and the nation’s ‘fuller figured’ community over how they are portrayed in features and stories.

Barry Neville, Chairman of Roly-Poly People said: ‘Every time there is an obesity-related item in news bulletins it is illustrated by showing footage of larger people from the neck down, or if they do use full body shots their heads are pixelated. We have now raised this matter with Ofcom. We demand to be seen.’

‘Why can’t we be shown – heads and all – like it always use to be?’ asks twenty-three stone Jane Metcalfe ‘This new portrayal is just not fair and should be stopped immediately. Bigger folk want their fifteen minutes in the spotlight just like everyone else does. We’re fed up with just being depicted as massive derrières barely concealed inside cheap Primark leggings.’

And thirty-two stone, gourmand and shot-putter Alan Banks agrees. ‘I was in the high street one day when I saw a unit filming a piece to camera so I kept on deliberately getting directly into the shot. I was well and truly narked when later on that night there I was on the news all right but with no head. Just my enormous unsightly belly hanging out over my belt!’

Meanwhile all schoolchildren, irrespective of shape or size featured on TV reports are keenly awaiting the outcome of Ofcom’s decision, as it’s believed they too are fed up continually being shown as a sinister race of creepy blurry-headed weird aliens.’

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2019 by

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