In a statement issued to the world’s media and a handful of people hanging around wearing Union Jack waistcoats and waving flags, a spokesman for The Queen has confirmed that both Prince Andrew and Prince Edward are, in fact, still members of the Royal Family.
Doubts had begun to arise after some bloke down the pub pointed out that neither of them has been on telly or been in the news for absolutely ages.
“The last time I saw Andrew was when his missus was having her toes sucked by that bloke,” he said. “And has Edward done anything since It’s a Royal Knockout? I dunno.”
Speaking on behalf of the Queen, the spokesman confirmed that Prince Andrew still has loads of letters after his name and flies around in his helicopter. And Prince Edward is still the earl of somewhere or another and patron of something, but he wasn’t exactly sure what.
In recent years, the attention of the public and the press has been directed more towards the younger members of the Royal Family, such as Princes William and Harry.
Rambling on, however, the spokesman insisted that Andrew and Edward still actively help the Royal Family to play an integral part in public life and go out shooting stags and whatnot, prompting much sniggering from those present.