‘I will quit UK’ vows furious meerkat Orlov


Following on from recent events when Russian billionaire oligarch, Roman Abramovich, was refused renewal of his investment visa, once again the Foreign Office has targeted another high profile Russian and meted out the same treatment.

Meerkat, Aleksandr Orlov, was refused entry at Gatwick Airport this afternoon, when along with his ‘colleague’ Sergei, they were both questioned before being deported back to the holiday island of Majorca, where they had just flown in from after enjoying a late Spring vacation.

A Foreign Office spokesman said: ‘This is part of our tightening up of relations with Russians and their vast sums of money that Britain is currently awash with. Mr Orlov’s documentation was simply out of date and he cannot enter Britain until he applies to have it reissued. We see no reason to grant him any special previlidges.’

But sources close to Orlov say that he’s ‘not too best pleased’ with what’s happened and that he is considering stopping appearing in his, what many commentators say, are mind-numbingly irritating and fucking infuriatingly annoying TV adverts.

Speaking to the press back at Palma Airport after deportation a clearly furious Orlov said: ‘I theenk they make a beegs mistake and need to reconsider positions. But if they is still be-ink silly sausages then I will quit my entire operation in UKs. Simples!’

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2019 by

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