Neighbour Calls Police & Daily Mail Following Ominous Silence From Corbyn’s Home

Corbs

After listening carefully Ernest and Eve Stropper, neighbours of Jeremy Corbyn, became concerned when they heard nothing from the Corbyn household late at night last week. ‘The Corbyns are a nice couple’ said Ernest ‘I think he works in Westminster – some kind of political part-time reservist or something. I only really know him because he has the next allotment to mine.’

‘We often listen to the sounds from his house, mainly because we’re just nosy, but also so that if he should have a cheese-and-wine party or something, we can complain about the noisy clinking of glasses – or get invited to join in. But the other night, quite late, there was complete silence, and when we listened again later on, the silence was repeated. We were so concerned that we recorded it, and re-listened to the quietness repeatedly to be absolutely sure it really was utter, complete silence.’

‘We didn’t know if they had both died of food poisoning, or if Jeremy had been strangled by his wife, or they had both had their throats cut by burglars, or if they had been abducted by aliens, or what. It was absolutely terrifying, and the longer we listened to the sinister lack of sound and re-listened to the eerie recording, the more we realised we need to do something. Obviously the most urgent thing to do was to contact an organisation which is dedicated to protecting society and saving our civilisation from all forms of evil, but after we had telephoned the Daily Mail we thought it might be a good idea to contact the police as well.’

Jeremy Corbyn has been asked to explain the circumstances leading up to the lack of sound from his house so late at night, and has faced a great deal of criticism for refusing to talk about it. ‘This is really not good enough, from someone who has aspirations to be prime minister of this country’ said Daily Mail journalist Jamie Taylor. ‘He has been almost as reticent to make any clear public statement about this incident as he has been about his party’s policy on Brexit.’

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2019 by

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