Intellectual Climate scientists have warned that opinion levels are rising even faster than predicted.
“We passed the Alpha Point in 2006”, said Dr James Grigsby. “That is where the arsehole:opinion ratio is exactly 1:1. It’s based on the old adage ‘opinions are like arseholes – everybody’s got one’. To make that true today we’d need to perforate everybody’s bowel a thousand times. Which might not be a terrible idea if it slows down the rate of online drivel”.
Not everybody agrees with the science. Intellectual Climate change deniers have criticised the findings as having an over-reliance on facts.
“The ratio might have made sense in Victorian times”, said one sceptic, “but jobs have changed. I’m a management consultant – it’s difficult to know where opinion ends and activity begins. If it starts at all. Sometimes I’m billing clients and even I can’t believe they’re actually paying for this shit”.
Technology might hold the solution. Some experts have called for an increase in bullshit jobs until the only person producing anything of value is Eric, 53, who personally produces all of the nation’s food, shelter and clothing while the rest of the population provides valuable commentary on his deficiencies. We asked Eric for comment but he was too busy actually doing stuff.