Downing street tonight confirmed what most commentators had been speculating – the PM will be attending this week’s G20 summit in Japan solely for the air miles.
Following a tenure in No 10 marked by the constant achievement of nothing useful at all, out-going Prime Minister Teresa May has apparently concluded that she should set herself an achievable goal for her final summit and will be aiming to bring absolutely nothing to discussions in Osaka.
“She only has a week or two left” observed one member of the German delegation. “It’s not as if she can achieve anything in that time and frankly if Borris gets in then all Hell will break loose so she can’t even promise anything either. It will all be ‘up for re-negotiation’ once he’s PM and so frankly she may as well just not be here.”
One Government insider was a little more sympathetic however, commenting “She’s about to lose her job and have a whole lot more time on her hands. Those air miles are going to come in handy, what with the summer coming up. We’re talking 10,000 miles round-trip in first class! Who wouldn’t take that?”
Public opinion appears to be divided on whether Mrs May should be permitted to attend such an event when she has nothing to contribute, with may people feeling that she should have resigned a few weeks earlier to allow the new PM to take her place. Other’s however, considered it entirely legitimate. “Everyone takes the piss a bit towards the end of a job” observed one shopper from Brentwood. “I mean, what are they going to do? Sack her? It’s not like she’s the only one either. Take Prince Charles! He’s been at it for years and his job hasn’t even started yet!”