Most ‘starving’ UK citizens not actually starving


A new report released by the charity sector has found that the vast majority of the UK population who describe themselves as ‘starving’ in social situations are actually not.

Global poverty analyst Dean Hobbart said: “I think in general most Westerners struggle to differentiate between the 2 (very different) physical sensations of ‘I think I’m dying’ and ‘I want another pack of Monster Munch’.

“UK residents in particular have a habit of declaring a state of malnourishment when they are perfectly fine, even when they find themselves in social settings that would be considered extremely comfortable by all Third World countries.”

With the phrase ‘I’m STARVING!’ found to be the most widely-used declaration, other big hitters in the report included:

– ‘I’m PARCHED’ (said when you want a beer but don’t want to buy the first round);
– ‘I’m GASPING” (said when you want someone to make you a cup of tea); and
– ‘I’m FAMISHED’ (usually said moments before you eat an entire KFC bucket by yourself).

The report also advised anyone claiming to be literally starving to sort their life out as soon as possible.

hat-tip Ugi


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Posted: Jul 3rd, 2019 by

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