Upset parents have been calling for a boycott of Airfix after their new 1:350 scale, self-assembly model of the Royal Navy’s HMS Queen Elizabeth was launched without any tiny replica aircraft in the box.
‘It’s very detailed and they seem to have spent a great deal of time getting everything just right, from the chain guns on the back to the lifts on the side which go up and down, which we’re very impressed with, I must say. But it’s an aircraft carrier,’ said one angry parent, ‘d’er… planes? Helloooo!’
A spokesman for the model maker said they hadn’t actually overlooked the demand for aircraft, but had had a bit of trouble deciding which to use. ‘Should it be the ones which you flick along the deck and hope they fly off the end, or would it be best to adapt them to fit a little spring mechanism which allowed for vertical take off and landing? That was the dilemma,’ he said. ‘In the end we decided on both, but because that’s all getting quite complicated our American suppliers say they won’t be ready until 2020.’
The design changes have raised other concerns over the eagerly-awaited teeny tiny plastic ship. ‘When they first announced they were bringing out the model in their catalogue they said it would be less than £30, but now they want £60. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s worth it,’ fumed another parent.
Some have suggested using the little Harriers from the Airfix HMS Invincible model as an interim measure, but the spokesman confirmed they had all been sold off cheaply as a job lot to a collector in the United States.
‘These issues will be resolved as soon as practically possible and we hope our customers will stick with us,’ said the spokesman. ‘In the meantime, you could always buy one of our Russian or Chinese carrier models which have lots of aircraft on board and they can even launch proper imaginary 1:350 scale attacks. All we ask is that you don’t have a battle with them and the Queen Elizabeth in the bath at the same time until at least 2020, the results could be too much for any British child to bear.’