BBC Producers have called for emergency supplies of food and water to be brought in, after a panellist’s answer to a question about Brexit entered a second day day without receiving a Pavlovian outbreak of applause from the audience.
Jasper De Sousa, columnist at The Spectator, started his answer to a question about how the Brexit deadlock might be broken at 1001pm on Thursday, trotting out what he thought was a straightforward clap-banker about ‘getting things done for the country’.
With no applause forthcoming from the audience, De Sousa ploughed on, highlighting the deficiencies of everyone else on the panel, the need to take back control, and the spectre of letting Jeremy Corbyn in through the back door’.
‘It has been textbook stuff from Jasper and he’s not going until he’s heard that satisfactory, affirmatory ripple from the audience’, noted one colleague. ‘He’s raised his volume beyond shouting level, a bit of sweat has appeared above his top lip and he has come to a dozen false crescendos where you’d usually get at least a few of those who have fallen asleep clapping just because the answer sounds like its finishing.’ De Sousa’s advisors have already had to cancel his contribution to a debate on LBC radio on Friday, and delay his delivery of a puff-piece about Boris Johnson in Weekend Telegraph, as he continues to seek out a satisfactory climax to his answer. The columnist is thought to be considering mentioning straight bananas and the 26 thousand word EU directive on cabbages in an attempt to force some applause from the exhausted audience.