After watching his football heroes Neymar and Griezmann trying to force their clubs to sell them by not turning up to training, Jared Brown is refusing to turn up for his shifts at KFC in Peterborough in order to force through a transfer to the local McDonald’s.
“They are the biggest fast food chain in the world, ever since I was a little boy I’ve always dreamed of working there,” claimed Jared. “They have all the tools to turn me into the best fast food cooker and server in the world!”
Jared had been spotted wearing parts of the McDonald’s uniform in Instagram posts which state “#soon” and removed “KFC Legend” from his profile making his 4 followers believe he is losing his mind.
Customers of the KFC Jared works at are ambivalent about the situation. “Who is Jared?” queried one such customer, a lifelong supporter of the KFC Peterborough branch. “I just want my Zinger burger now, I have been waiting almost a minute.”
A solution to the impasse was presented by Sharon, Jared’s manager at KFC. “He still hasn’t passed his probation here yet, and to be honest, he wasn’t about to pass even if he showed up. If someone falls for all the tricks we play on new staff: finding the diet ice, going for a long wait in the freezer and believing that I am a direct descendant of the Colonel, I refuse to hire them!”